The conversations that shouldn’t–or can’t–be stopped.
In light of the…ahem…bruise we found on Smarty Boy’s neck after a recent school trip, I thought y’all might enjoy the first “C” word conversation I had with him. This took place while we lived in Qatar, and he was about eight, I think.
People, this is a country where I couldn’t buy anything but OB tampons, and this grocery store stocked protection at at POS counter like packs of gum. Truth!
Questions are never indiscreet; answers sometimes are.
– Oscar WildeIf people knew all the strange things kids ask, they would never, ever procreate. Luckily, I suppose, we enter into this parenting thing completely blind. Then our children lure us into a sense of safety and—BAM!—they hit us with something new.
Yesterday at the grocery store, we were standing in line (behind a Muslim lady, no less!) and I glanced to my left. There, on a rack, were about 500 kinds of…ahem…protection. Now some people like to impulsively purchase gum or candy or even batteries. I never realized those were an impulse buy. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking on the buyer’s part.
Of course, my son’s attention was also caught by the array, and he decided to point out the box labeled “Retarding.” Exactly what that means when it comes to condoms, I’m not 100%, but I think I have an idea.
So, of course, he wanted to know what they were.
I said, “They’re condoms, but not something we need to talk about in the checkout line.”
“But Mom, what are they?”
“We’ll talk about it when we get outside.”
So we got to the parking lot and he didn’t say anything else. We got in the car. Nothing.
I could’ve let the topic slide, but I knew I really shouldn’t. I took a deep breath and asked, “So do you want to know what those were?”
“Yeah.”
“They’re condoms. Do you know what a condom is?”
“No.”
Good, I think. “They’re something that men wear on their pe—”
“Nah. Nah. NAH. NAH!” he yelled from the backseat.
“But—”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” he said.
“Okay, let me know when you want me to finish my sentence.” I had to laugh. Had to.
Pretty sure it’s time to finish that conversation…
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Today is my FIL’s birthday. If I counted correctly, he’s 77. And y’all, he’s still going at top speed. Sure hope Tech Guy inherited his dad’s genes. 😉
