Here on Brain Candy, I normally try to give little tips or solutions. But I’ll be honest, a few things in this universe truly puzzle me. Things I have no idea how to solve.
For example, could someone—anyone—please tell me what happens to old men’s butts? When men pass a certain age, 50 or so, their butts simply cease to fill out their pants. Where the hell does it go?
Does it slide down and turn into cankles? I know, they hide their butts in those white socks they wear with black shoes!
Do they get butt-jacked? Maybe that’s the downside to those mid-life crises sports cars. “Outta this Porsche, dude. Don’t try anything stupid. And leave your butt in the seat.”
Or perhaps their butts get lost in that mysterious black hole of misplaced socks? One old man’s backside for every shorty sock that disappears.
Okay, that’s a visual of dingy footwear and flesh I can’t even form in my imagination. And I imagine humorous, bizarre and terrifying images for a living.
So take a sec and check out all the old men you know. Am I right? And do they have any idea where those rear-ends have gotten off to??
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Today is World Rat Day. Another celebration I’m not sure I’m keen on, so I figure I’ll celebrate it as Get Outta the Rat Race Day. Perfect seeing as I’m hanging out with my guys watching the Oakland As play the San Francisco Giants this week!
